Vegetarian Pizza

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This is a rendition of the friendliest bunch of scottish kids there ever were: Vegpizzaoi1.gif

The name of their band is "Oi Polloi," or "The People," in their silly nonstandard language they refuse to let go of. What relation does the band have to a food thread? Simple- they happened to write the best damn recipe ever, and made it into a song! Here is it for you:


Oi Polloi said from the center of Stonehenge: Pastry! Mixed veg! Red beans! Courgettes! Walnuts! Cashews! Tomatos! MUSSHHROOOOOOMS! Let's make a tasty anarcho pie, ace vegan food for you and I Let's make a tasty anarcho-pie, ace vegan food for you and I Take eight ounces of pastry and, leaving a little bit aside, roll out two equal portions each a quarter inch thick. Then use one of these to carefully line the bottom of your chosen pie dish.

Cook the ingredients for the pie filling separately and then place these inside the pie dish on top of the pastry base. Wetting the top of the edge of the pastry base, affix the pastry cover to the anarcho-pie.

Now comes the important bit: Using the spare bits of pastry, decorate the top of the pie with a pastry anarchy sign - symbolising our never-ending resistance to the omnicidal system that perverts our lives.

After baking the pie in the oven for between thirty and thirty five minutes at approximately four hundred degrees farenheit it should be ready for serving and by this time should have developed a good CRUUUSST! at this point there's a lot of background conversation and punk jokes

Now I am not scottish, and don't pretend to understand gaelic, so much of the lyrics like "pastry" and "courgettes" were utterly lost on me, so I decided to show you what a chicago-style anarcho-pie looks like.


  • Portobello mushrooms! (chop and marinade in vegetarian hoi sin sauce with soy sauce added)
  • Garlic, whole
  • Soy-based fake meat product in a tube
  • Bell pepper(s)
  • Tomato sauce
  • Dough (readily make pizza dough with delicious flour of your choice with a touch of oil and enough water to make it spongey. If you want thicker dough, add yeast and let rise for 30 minutes, then knead and spread, otherwise just use the flat dough)
  • OIL!


Vegpizzaoi2.jpg Marinade your shrooms , bro


Draw the omnicidal death-bringer on your tomato-sauce can, then RIP HIS FACE OFF, ooh yeah


Throw your spread-out dough on a baking sheet with some oil, bake for 7-8 minutes at 400


Wield your meaty palms in a manner that produces miniature vegetarian nuggets of joy. Proceed to dice up the bell peppers as well


Prepare the death-bringer by adding a little oil




Crush up 5-6 garlic cloves into the tomato sauce with some basil and oregano


Remove cooked dough from oven, lightly oil the top, begin tossing on ingredients


Meaty product is done browning, toss it on


Now toss it in the oven for about 10 minutes


Let it cool, then eat!

If you have any questions about Oi Polloi, Scotland's capital, Scotch (a pauper's watered down scotch or perhaps a scotch and soda go well with pizza.. but I'm drinking water), making pizza, or working in a pizza place, please ask. I made this at home, and our pizza kitchen would probably kill me for this "abomination" of chicago-style pizza.