Roast Turkey

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Submitted by Sam_I_Am.


  • 1 cup kosher salt
  • 1/2 cup light brown sugar
  • 1 gallon vegetable stock
  • 1 tablespoon black peppercorns
  • 1/2 tablespoon allspice berries
  • 1/2 tablespoon candied ginger
  • 1 gallon iced water

Bring all the above to a boil to help mix, and then add the ice to cool it down. Use a huge lobster pot to brine the turkey.


Uh oh, the turkey doesn't fit. Maybe I could add another quart of water, but instead I found a turkey-shaped container.


Let brine for 6 hours. When it's done brining, rinse off and pat dry.


  • 1 Red Apple
  • 1/2 Onion
  • 1 t Cinnamon
  • 1 C Water
  • 5 sprigs Rosemary
  • 8 leaves Sage

Preheat to 500. Microwave the above ingredients for 5 minutes and shove 'em in the turkey. Just because we're making 'dressing' doesn't mean we can't stuff.


Take a doubled sheet of aluminum foil, and make a breast plate before you send your bird in for battle.



Roast at 500 for 30 minutes, to let the skin get crisp and awesome.


About this time, remember that you forgot to truss the turkey, so it's spread "eagled". Oh well.

Stick your thermometer probe into the thickest part of the breast and give your white meat a little protection, so the dark meat can catch up. Lower the heat to 350 and return the bird.


Note that in that photo it's almost 3:00. Uh oh! That gives you 2 hours to bring a 17 lb bird up to 161 degrees. It's just not going to happen. LUCKILY, any family with a four-year-old shows up half an hour late to everything.