Hot Dog Rollup
by Plinkey, Submitted by Ishamael.
All the major food groups: beef, pork, eggs, cheese, butter, grease, bread, and mustard.
This should not be made or consumed by anyone with heart problems, liver/kidney disease, diabetics, anyone who is pregnant or nursing, the clinically obese, vegetarians, anyone who wants to live past 35 without having a heart attack, also anyone with any health problems what-so-ever. I take no responsibility any actions or death that results from this thread and recipe.
...it's just that good.
This recipe is a result of me any my roommates acquiring a grill earlier this week. We've been grilling breakfast lunch and dinner for a week straight, and the fat and cholesterol have been flowing like water leading us to the ultimate question:
What is the most delicious worst thing for a human that can be made on a grill?. This is what we came up with: The Hot-Dog-Rollup
Step 1: Collect the ingredients. You will need:
- ground beef (about 6 oz.)
- 1 hotdog
- 2 slices of cheese
- a large sub or steak roll
- 2 slices of bacon
- 2 eggs
- salt and pepper
- a 12 pack of your favorite beer (in this case the value priced American Ice).
Break 2 eggs into some type of bowl.
Mix them up until they look like scrambled egg makings.
Prepare the meatwad! You'll need about 4-6 oz. of meat.
Smash all the meat into a meat pancake (A meatcake if you will)
Lay the hotdog on the meatcake and trim it so that you have enough to roll the meat around the hot dog into a Ho-Ho like fashion.
Remove the hotdog and dump enough of the eggs onto the meat to more or less soak it. Also add salt and pepper.
Bacon + hot dog = WOW!
Wrap the hotdog in 2 slices of bacon so that the whole thing is more or less covered with bacon...looks delicious doesn't it?
Now it's time to fire up the grill and start some cooking. Put the bacon-wrapped hot dog on the grill and begin cooking.
Because of all the bacon fat you may get a huge fire...this is normal, just don't let it get out of control.
Now it's time to drink some beer and wait until the bacon is done.
Ohh SHIT! It's done. Looks so so good.
Prepare the wrap
Dump all the egg off the plate, so that you have only egg soaked meat, and add your favorite seasoning.
Put the cheese on the egg soaked meatcake (about 1 1/2 slices)
Now it's time to wrap this thing up. This takes a lot of concentration, and a large spatula. Put the bacon covered hotdog on the cheese, brace it all with a spatcula, and start wrapping.
- If you put the meatcake on a piece of plastic wrap, this process could be made much easier, and you will probably not need a spatula**
The easiest way to do it is to just flip the meat over, and then kinda press it all together with your hands, and roll it around on the plate.
You end up with something that looks like this. Yeah, I know what you're thinking " wow, that looks so good I just came in my pants!" Well, just hold on, because it gets better!
Cook / Eat
Put the roll of goodness on the grill. It will need to cook for about 20 minutes or so, you want to make sure that you cook the meat the whole way through, becuase you don't want to get sick.
While it's cooking you need to prepare the roll. Get a load of butter on a knife and spread that shit out. The more butter, the better it tastes, trust me.
Throw that roll on the grill and let it toast for about 3-5 minutes.
It's done! Perfection.
The meat should be done now, so take that perfectly toasted butter roll and slap it on top of the now sizzling and oozing cheese hot-dog-rollup. Lift the whole thing off the grill with a spatula, make sure to use two hands, this thing is huge.
Now add your favorite condiments and topping. This hot-dog-rollup is for Floppy (my roommate).
Mustard...LOLZ! It looks so so good.
Now it's time to eat. Drink that delicious beverage Floppy!
Man, that looks good, I hope you don't have a heart condition.
Here is a cross section of the partially eaten hot-dog-rollup. All I can say is WOW.
Floppy wasn't able to eat all of this in one sitting, so my other goon of a roomate Orthod0ks came in to finish the job. We think that Floppy is going into a grease-induced coma. He just keeps twitching, and drooling on the floor, so we think he might die...apparently he didn't take my warning to heart (no pun intended).
Enjoy Your Heart Attack!
As I said before, if you have kind of medical problem DO NOT FUCKING EAT THIS THING, YOU WILL DIE!. If you are a normal heathy person, do not eat more than 1 of these a year, they are more or less like crack because they are so good, so you need to be careful. If you die...it's not my fault, you've been warned.
See the Australian effort: Hot_Dog_Rollup_Aus
There have to be ways to improve this. Has anyone considered beer-battering and frying this thing? It'd be like a corndog on a cob.
Let me say that again.
Corndog on a cob.
I recommend shishkebab skewers in order to hold it together/carry/defend it.
As a thought, the concept of taking this and combining some high class cuisine principals into it, while still keeping it, at it's heart, greasy heart attack food.
First, I would recommend subbing the hot dog for a high class sausage. What sausage? If you have a favorite, go with that, but there are a lot of good turkey sausages that have a perfect texture.
Bacon? Go for the best you can find. A good idea might be to go with applewood smoked bacon, something that's fairly commonly used in restaurants in some areas.
Ground beef? It's practically a meatloaf already.. but why not go farther? Go with a classic Gyro loaf, nice pureed lamb meatloaf. Of course, the concept of cooking the hot dog first is still integral, because this prevents size differentiating from final cooking, and also assures that the inside isn't raw while the outer edges of the gryo loaf are burned.
Also, american cheese? Up the ante, go for some good ol' bleu cheese.
Finally, who has time to eat something like that out of a bun? I mean, ya, it's a good idea.. but an alternative is the beer batter mentioned above.. or corndog batter, made with actual corn. Homemade corn batter is delicious. While it's still relatively hot, take a nice wide bowl and fill it with the batter of your choice and then dunk your high class hot dog roll up in it, making sure to cover it fully.. may be a good idea to put in a skewer before this.. then, just fry it in a gallon of oil or so at 375 til brown!
Serve with ketchup!
Sub the bun and mustard for a pancake and maple syrup for a McGriddle style sandwich.